Kiran Parekh's Memorial Giving Page's Fundraising Page

Eulogies for Kiran C Parekh

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Jay and Neeti's Eulogy:

I want to thank everyone in our large, loving community who have helped us in so many ways over the past weeks. Your help, your conversation, your laughs, and your hugs have kept our family strong during this time of grief. I'd also like to thank everyone for their contributions to the memorial fund we've set up in my dad's memory through Dana-Farber's Jimmy Fund specifically to fund head and neck cancer research.

Kiran Chimanlal Parekh. What did you call him? Brother? Uncle? Neighbor? Mentor? Kiran? KCP? Something else? He was so many things to so many people. I was lucky enough to be his son and he was Dad to me and my sister Neeti.

Despite knowing the inevitable outcome of his battle with cancer, the void created by the death of someone as beloved as dad is still hard to grasp. He was someone we took for granted would be around for much longer. His love, his advice (though it may have been unsolicited), his generosity and loyalty knew no bounds, and I can still see his furrowed brow concerned about our well being.

Kiran was one of six siblings, son to Motiben and Bapuji and husband of Maya. Born in Devgad Baria, a small town nestled in the foothills of eastern Gujarat, into modest beginnings, humility was a trait he carried throughout his entire life. My grandfather was a "thandar", a provincial tax collector, and instilled a sense of work ethic and discipline in my dad that defined him. He grew up with his older sisters, Budhi foi, Kanumati foi, and Shobna foi, his older brother, Subhash uncle, his younger brother, Yogesh uncle, right in the middle of the boys. For those who didn't know, it should come as no surprise, that my dad was a middle child. He was agreeable, a constant facilitator, and was fiercely loyal to those around him.

Alongside his immediate siblings, my dad forged lifelong friendships with numerous cousins as they lived and adventured, first in Baria, then in Bombay, and then in America after he emigrated here with $10 in his pocket. One of the first of his "kutumb" to arrive, he facilitated the immigration of many of his family members to the states. Once here, they continued their adventures, with 14 family members staying together in a one-bedroom apartment in Kentucky, with my dad stopping by weekly to provide groceries and help people get jobs.

I was lucky enough to be born into this fun-loving, close-knit family and I quickly learned why cousins and family are the fabric of life. He grew up in a large, close-knit family and wanted us to have that same experience so encouraged this constantly. From family reunions at Vraj, sending Neeti and I to spend time with our older, mostly-positively-influencing cousins in Brooklyn, organizing family trips to Peru and Machu Picchu, Ecuador and the Galapagos, and Costa Rica, he always encouraged us to to do and experience things he never had the privilege or means to do. My dad was keenly aware that close family, when given a chance to explore and create together, will forge special bonds for life. He was right, and the people in this room today are a testament to that.

A few weeks ago, Neeti shared with most of you, at my engagement party, that I am an avid learner (her words, not mine). What she didn't tell you is that both us acquired this trait from my dad. Over the course of his life, dad maintained many interests and hobbies. One of the earliest pieces of advice I remember him giving me, back when I was in high school and felt like I was invincible, was to never become complacent and always keep learning. Our home is full of artifacts from his passions. You'll see bins of classic rock vinyls in our garage, books about various countries on our coffee table, several pairs of tablas in the closet, and of course his verdant, lush, beautiful garden that attracts swarms of monarch and longwing butterflies. Even when he was deep in the throes of his illness, had his tongue reconstructed, and was at risk of not being able to speak properly again, you would find my dad researching speech therapy techniques and studying video selfies of him intoning various english and gujarati words. One of his greatest desires was for us to maintain the same level of curiosity in the world around us.

Despite dad's modest upbringing and lifestyle, he always wanted us to experience what he never did. The summer between middle school and high school, when I was 14, he asked me and my sister if we wanted to get certified to scuba dive, despite not knowing how to swim. He encouraged us to attend the best universities we could, regardless of distance or cost. Newly out of undergrad, he convinced me to pursue my entrepreneurial endeavors, backing up his words of encouragement with a check for our seed funding round. He encouraged my mom to go cliff jumping and skydiving, despite being terrified of heights. Coming from someone with his roots, it was a tribute to his selflessness and desire for us to have better life.

Speaking of my mom, I want to take a moment to thank her. If you know my mom, you know that she is so strong and so loving. Our mom is the light of mine and Neeti's life. During dad's treatment, she remained a steadfast source of hope for us despite being faced with the everyday realities of cancer. Mom was dad's biggest advocate, most trusted confidant, and his reason to continue his battle for four long years. We're so grateful for her love and compassion over the last 34 years as wife, mother, and friend. Mom we love you and will always be with you.

One year ago, after dad's second surgery, when the doctors were not able to completely remove the tumor in his tongue without removing his tongue entirely, my father woke up in the hospital with all of us around him. I wasn't planning on being there, so when he saw me he knew the prognosis was bleak, and I could see his revelation in his eyes. Later that day he wrote to me on his notepad "This is the end, isn't it?"
 
It wasn't the end. He hung on. He convinced himself that he had to live to care for his family and continue to teach us life lessons. He retired from work, traveled to places he always wanted to visit, all while hunting around the country for the best treatment he could find. He gathered with family at weddings. He celebrated another birthday. He never lost his good humor.

My last words to him was when he was lucid was: "We love you." While he couldn't respond, he squeezed my hands to let me know the same. He always wanted for us to have a better life than he did, and he provided everything for us to do that. I can say without a doubt that he's done that, and now it is our turn to pay it forward.

Goodbye dad, it was too soon.

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Yogesh and Subhash's Eulogy:

🙏 જૈ જૈ શ્રીગોકુલેશ 🙏 (Jai Jai Shrigokulesh)

🙏 જય શ્રીકૃષ્ણ 🙏 (Jay Shrikrishna)

I am his younger brother Yogesh but Kiran would say my તોફાની (tofani) brother YC! I am here to share some of our joyous memories and try to lessen the pain of his passing brought upon us. We are three brothers of which he is in the middle and we call him Team C. Our elder brother Subhash is here, he also knows and lived with Kiran's funny moments. We three are more like very very close friends than brothers. We have taken our many vacations together. Every trip we go to, here are Kiran?s words - "Subhashbhai Pragnya નો photo પાડો ને" (Subhashbhai, why don't you take Pragnya's photo?) - How carefree and joyful those words were!

He would pick our vacation destinations like Machu Picchu, Costa Rica, etc, which shows his love towards nature and history. He also loved music and gardening. Some of his favorite flowers from his garden are here with us today. He was very close with family and friends too.

He was very close to me, to the extent that he would not afraid to get me in trouble. I remember back home if we did something wrong together but somehow only he got caught - his first defense was "Yogesh also did it!" As you guessed, now all of the focus was on તોફાની (Tofani) YC and he escapes without any trouble! Why was this? Because he was always smart, intelligent, diplomatic, sharply and thoughtfully mild mannered. With these qualities he lived a very happy life, but now he has left us for a lot more better place. He will be missed! But we need not worry, because his soul is blessed by our ઠાકોરજી (Thakorji), our God. May his soul achieve salvation!

Thank you and god bless all!

🙏 જૈ જૈ શ્રીગોકુલેશ 🙏 (Jai Jai Shrigokulesh)