In Memory of Brian Pender's Fundraising Page

Thank you for visiting my Giving Page to support cancer research and care at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Jimmy Fund.

Brian’s life was much too short, but he lived life to the fullest.  He was able to go to college, start a career, fall in love and get married.  He didn’t get to do everything he wanted, but he did get to live the fullest life he could with the time he had.

Brian had cancer for most if his life.  He was diagnosed when he was 8 years old, the first treatment lasted one year.  At age 12 he lost his leg after many years of complications from the cancer.  He relapsed at age 17, after 8 years of being cancer free.  He fought the cancer off and on for the next 7 years going through many treatments.  Cancer was always present in his life, but it didn’t define who he was.  He always found time to do the things he wanted, like cook and spend time with friends.  He was smart, very funny and compassionate.

The Jimmy Fund made this extra time with Brian an option.  The number of people who have helped with his care is probably in the hundreds.  I want to especially thank his Doctors, nurses and staff at the Jimmy Fund who made coming for treatment more like going to see family.  We will forever be grateful for the extra time we had with Brian because of them.

Brian always thought of others before himself.  This was clear even when he was very young.  I used to joke that he never had any money because he would spend it as soon as he had it.  He would share whatever he had with everyone that was there. As he got older this translated into compassion for others.  He would struggle over how to share bad news about his diagnosis with his mom because he didn’t want to upset her.  When he found out the cancer was growing again shortly after he proposed to Daria, he offered to let her out of the engagement (she of course refused).  Another time when we got devastating news about the accelerated growth of the tumor, he could see how upset Daria was and he reached out to hold her hand and tell her everything would be ok.  During his final days he apologized to me because he was having an episode where he couldn’t breathe in the middle of the night and he was sorry he was keeping me awake.  Brian always cared more about others than he did for himself.  His gift to the world was his compassion.

Brian loved to cook from an early age. We are so happy that he got to follow his passion and become a chef.  He graduated the Culinary Institute of America in November of 2017 and moved to AL to start his life as a chef.  He loved being independent and loved to cook.  While he didn’t get to spend many years as a chef it always brought him happiness.

In December 2018, Brian met Daria.  They were married on September 9, 2019.  She is his soulmate.  They both share a love of food and cooking.  Although the time he got to spend with her was only a few years, it made such a difference in his life.  It’s not so easy to find someone who shares the same passions as you and will love you unconditionally no matter what, and that is what Brian found with Daria.  She brought the kind of love to his life that you can only get from a life partner and we are so grateful that he got to experience that before he passed.  He was so happy to spend his time with her.  We are so happy Daria came into our lives and she will always be a part of our family.

The last year of his life was very difficult.  He was limited in what he could do and was in constant pain.  Still he found the strength to go on his honeymoon, go on family vacations to Orlando and Colorado.  It was not always easy for him but you wouldn’t know it. 

He is the strongest and bravest man we have ever known we are so proud to be his parents.

Brian, we will always love you and we will miss you tremendously.  You have touched our lives in a profound way and we are all better for knowing you.  You were strong, funny, loving and compassionate.  We could not be prouder of the man you are.